MASC OR MASK?
UNVEILING THE
UNSPOKEN
When hoping to magnet potential dates, people can try to present themselves according to the standards of the people they hope to attract. This is mostly common on online platforms like dating apps as they allow users to curate their personas, hiding their “flaws” and only showing traits that are deemed “desirable.” The interviewees were asked if there are certain standards or unspoken rules when it comes to curating your online persona on dating apps as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community.
“Looks matter. The face card, the body card . . . dulo na yung personality card kasi hindi naman siya magre-reflect sa chat.”
Kurt Liam Dones
“Siguro standard din yung sexual position. Minsan sinasabi ‘two tops can’t make a bottom’ and usually when it comes to dating, nauuna yung mga sexual intercourses.”
Kurt Liam Dones
Once again, the unspoken rules and standards among members of the LGBTQIA+ community in online dating apps affirmed the bias towards masculine-looking gay men and the prevalence of internalized homophobia. It can also be deduced that in dating apps, looks are usually the make-or-break characteristic on which people’s decision to swipe left or right is based. This is part of the limitations of dating apps since people’s personalities may not be entirely reflected in how they converse online. Given the discrimination towards non-masculine-looking gay men, this goes to show that there is still a long way to go to destigmatize feminine and other nonconforming gender expressions.