THE IDEAL MAN
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS OF FILTERS AND PREFERENCES
We reflect: are preferences as personal as we think, or are there underlying factors that define these?
As a prelude to the conducted case study, the interviewees were asked which online dating platforms they utilized, what they were looking for in these applications, and what they look for in a profile to make it worthy of a like or, in dating terms, a “swipe”. All responded using Bumble and Grindr. This is interesting to note because only one interviewee answered that he used Tinder, as the most prevalent of the online dating platforms used by the interviewees are among the platforms frequently used by queer individuals in search for potential partners.
When asked what they were looking for in online dating applications, all of the Barbies answered that they were looking for connections in these applications - someone to hangout with. They also responded that they look for hookups in these applications especially with their use of Grindr.
Kristian Arellano
“Hindi natin kaagad nakikita yung interests nila or ugali nila through a screen so face value muna. I’m hairy also so parang kung twinky yung guy, mas mukha pa akong top kaysa sa kanya. More on to daddy vibe: hairy scruffy, medyo muscular, or bear-ish. Yung kagaya ko ng build, twink-ish, twunk, or otters, hindi ko type. In one word to answer your question, daddy vibes.”
The interviewees were also asked to describe their preferences for a potential partner. All of them answered that physical features matter: the face, the body, and especially the height of a potential match or partner. Although, their preferences on the gender expression of their potential match varied citing various reasons as to why and how they leaned more (or not) towards masculine-presenting or feminine-presenting queer individuals.
“Let’s be frank. Super halaga talaga ng face card when it comes to these dating apps. When I find that the face (is) kind hearted, mukhang mabait and soft features, I get attracted to these kind of guys. And nung nag-review ako ng 2023 dating experience ko, may common denominator na mukha silang mababait.”
“I dated guys kasi na hindi super masculine. I dated guys more on the softer side. Sinabihan ako ng sister ko na mas masculine, in a sense, masc-presenting especially with how I’m built right now. I’m kinda on to the gentler side. I had experienced a guy na ‘yow, pare, you want to hold hands?”
Kurt Liam Dones
“I like someone tall. Alam kong makapal mukha ko kasi naka-filter sa dating apps na the guy should be at least 183 cm knowing that I am short. Honestly, I prefer moreno guys but my dating history says otherwise. Also, I’m pretty picky with the school. I really look at that. It’s only big three for me (UP, Ateneo, DLSU) except kung pogi talaga siya. I make an exception.”
“The reason why I prefer masc-presenting guys at that time is because I had internalized homophobia. When I was in high school, I was conditioned to think that when you’re more feminine, you’re not as attractive (as masc-presenting guys)."
Josher Quizon
The preference for partners who exude a heteronormative gender expression is rooted in the experiences of othering within the gay community. The responses outlined how heteronormative gender expressions continue to influence the preferences of queer individuals in their search for potential matches in online dating platforms. Even though some have expressed that they do not necessarily lean more towards masculine-presenting queer individuals, physical features inherent to masculine features prevail. What may be the root cause of the persistence of these masculine stereotypes and how did it manifest in online dating platforms?