OTHERING WITHIN THE QUEER COMMUNITY AND THEIR DIGITAL SPACES
DECONSTRUCTING IDEALS
Expression of preferences within the world of queer online dating is never purely rooted in personal likes and dislikes. It reflects a long-standing history of oppression, and ultimately, suppression.
Tracing the origins of othering within the gay community in the Philippines has its roots in the early Spanish colonial era where notions of discrimination against homosexuality was ascribed by the Catholic society in the country. The precolonial notion of the bakla as a cross-dressing effeminate was manifest in the babaylan, which during the colonization of the country, was erased from the consciousness of the Filipinos and was reconstructed to have negative connotations during the colonization of Spain. These negative connotations toward the bakla was perpetuated in contemporary Philippine society by the media ascribing the stereotype of the bakla as effeminate and part of the lower class because of their association to low-end professions such as being a beautician.
However, there also exists the stereotype of the middle- and upper- class queer individuals who were exposed to Western notions of homosexuality thereby garnering the desire for the white male stereotype, hence establishing a more masculine expression of homosexuality, far from the notion of the effeminate bakla.
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The conception of the white male stereotype has arguably had a crucial influence on how queer individuals have framed their preferences toward more masculine stereotypes. The desire for masculine features among gay men have been naturalized in the context of a heteronormativity. Thus, being effeminate elucidates that a gay man is seen more as a female than a male and this notion is manifest in online dating applications.
GAUGING THE WORLD OF MASC4MASC
As an introspection on the prevalence of othering within the gay community in the country, we asked the interviewees several questions on their experiences and observations of othering within online dating applications. The responses we have gathered thus far varied among the interviewees. Although, all of them affirmed that othering does exist in online dating applications.
When asked whether or not discrimination against feminine gay men persists within the gay community, all of the interviewees affirmed the existence of such.
“Naman! Of course. Categorical answer is yes. I feel like I’m part of the problem kasi it’s just my preference pero it depends on how you deny or how you talk to people... Yung iba kasi sinasabi nila blatantly na pass sa halata pero it depends din naman, kung ijujustify ko yung ginagawa ko I talk to people na hindi ko type in a way na hindi siya condescending, hindi siya hurtful kasi words hurt.”
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“Yes, it stems from discrimination. Marami sa mga Masc 4 Masc ay closeted. Mas bet ko yung kasama ko ay it’s either closeted rin or masculine presenting kasi hindi ako madidiscriminate kapag naglakad ako in front of my kapitbahays or my family. I believe na pagkakaroon ng Masc 4 Masc preference ay pwedeng siyang mahaluan ng discrimination because takot ang karamihan ng mga closeted gays na ma-associate with effeminate gays. Mas marami silang innuenndos na maririnig na pang-didiscriminate from people around them.”
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“Of course, super rampant pa rin talaga ng discrimination. Even sa social media, we see people celebrating for example meron yung umamin sa BGC na couple. Kung na-observe mo very masculine sila like Masc 4 Masc talaga and then sa feminine hindi ganoon kakita yung representation nila sa social media and even sa media. Even me, naisip ko na feeling ko sa simula okay attracted sila sa akin but once mas makilala nila ako more on the feminine side they will treat me as mother, not as a potential partner.”
Kurt Liam Dones
Kristian Arellano
"A lot of people don't view feminine men as more attractive. It’s so prevalent in the LGBT community talaga. For example, I actually did this experiment when I was in college. When I became single in college, syempre Bumble Bumble lang tayo. I became more feminine presenting when I was in college. When my profile photos showed that I was more feminine-presenting, ang konti lang ng likes ko noon. I only got 200 lang. When I switched it up, like naglagay na ako ng pa-yummy na pics, shirtless photos that make me see more masculine, that's when I got the huge difference in men that swipe right on my profile."
Josher Quizon
"When you have internalized homophobia you get turned off by femininity because the idea of femininity is not attractive. We are conditioned to think that an attractive man is someone who is more masculine, who is manly. Dapat may certain standards yan. Honestly, I don’t think it’s just in the LGBT (community). The way I see it, it’s how a lot of people are conditioned to think. Masculinity is the current standard and the norm for beauty.”
Another question was asked regarding the prevalence of gender stereotypes in online dating applications. The interviewees affirmed the prevalence of such stereotypes citing that masculine-presenting gay men have an advantage over their counterparts. The interviewees also cited the Masc 4 Masc stereotype which is used to refer to individuals who present themselves as masculine and seek other partners who present them as such.
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Kurt Liam Dones
“Yes, I think nandoon pa rin yung gender stereotypes. Of course, meron pa rin privileges mga masculine men unlike sa mga feminine men. Of course, masasabi rin naman na may certain niche of audiences or group of people. Pero, andoon pa rin yung strength ng masculine gay men when it comes to dating.”
“Very patriarchal and we subscribe to this heteronormative narrative pa rin when it comes to relationship na kailangan may masculine and then medyo soft na feminine pero masculine-presenting pa rin. It’s kinda hard to unlearn those kinds of things. Kahit naman ako nahihirapan to connect with other fem people when it comes to dating. It’s really hard to unlearn yung mga alam mo when it comes to dating.”
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Kristian Arellano
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“Being gay and leaning more towards a feminine side, nababago siya based on how I present myself to people. If mas prefer ng guy na masculine, kaya ko. Pero when I’m with friends, for them to not be threatened or intimidated, I try to be more effeminate. When it comes to dating and gender stereotypes, as a gay bottom mas maalaga sa akin ang nagiging partners ko. So parang ako yung nagiging babae sa relationship.”
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Josher Quizon
“Yeah, I think it’s still very much prevalent yung gender stereotypes. I wouldn’t say that I am not necessarily affected by it. I don’t think that I look as feminine as compared to other members of the LGBT. But, I see how it manifests in my other friends that use dating apps. For example, kapag feminine iniisip ng mga tao na bottom na kaagad. Even yung mga friends ko na top pero femme, hirap silang makahanap ng hook-up kasi there are bottoms that are turned off by the idea na “barbie top” yung kumekeme sa kanila. It also manifests in the bottoms kasi the tops they prefer more masculine bottoms.”
“Barbie tops are usually feminine guys who identify themselves as tops. They deviate from the norms that are established usually in the dynamics of having gay sex. Usually, people are used to tops being more manly pero seeing someone so feminine top someone is not something inviting to a lot of people."
The interviewees noted that deviation from the established gender norms and stereotypes are grounds for discrimination or othering against feminine-presenting queer individuals. Moreover, the interviewees also stated that preferred positions - top or bottom - established the notion of ascribing the masculine or feminine role in a relationship. Tops are usually ascribed masculine roles since they prefer to perform during copulation. Meanwhile, bottoms are ascribed feminine roles as they are on the receiving end in a gay relationship.